Unusual You
by godivaraphael
Summary: Kentana? Femma? Cinn? Bricedes? All of the never before seen couplings come to life in this collection of one-shots! Nothing is too awkward or strange to feature. Rated a strong T, discretion advised.
1. Let Me See Your Peacock, Kentana

Hello, this is my new story, and it's called Unusual You! What it is a dedicated collection of one shots that will contain an assortment of the most disturbing and never before seen couplings in Glee history, and to start it all off, we have **Santana Lopez and Ken Tanaka** as our lead romantics, and we will see how they get together. This story uses a lot of intentional irony, so if you think it's kind of silly, that's the goal. I HATE making this M, it's actually not that racy, I am only doing this to be safe, there are no explicit sex scenes or anything of that nature. That being said, the song is **Peacock **by **Katy Perry, **so it does get a little bit steamy. I hope you enjoy!

* * *

Santana Lopez had just finished making out with some freshmen lacrosse player, the feeling of fulfillment still on her lips, when she decided now would be a good time to go back to the choir room to pick up the sheet music she left by the piano. Santana was becoming more and more frustrated with these high school boys who seemed to be only interested in sex, but not sexy themselves. Why was it that she had to be the only thing spicy in these little hookups that she kept finding herself having? Just last week she fell asleep while having phone sex, later explaining that he blew her mind so much that she passed out, but really having been so exhausted from dealing with immature little boys who didn't know how to please a woman. She was a strong, mature girl who needed a powerful man to stand at her side. As she walked towards the choir room, she could hear the faint sound of a pulsing beat and a man's voice, but amounted that to her tiredness, so just kept on walking in, thinking of how badly she needed a masculine figure in her life that would rock her world. That's when she saw him. There he was, Ken Tenaka, in all his glory, dancing his heart out to Miley Cyrus' 'Can't Be Tamed', booty shaking and all, gyrating and groping with each passing syllable, tossing the hair he did not have; the only thing more shocking was how turned on Santana was at the sight of it. The way his bleached white knee high socks complimented his chunky calves, his thunder thighs shaking like a firm container of gelatin, the breathtaking rise and fall of what could only be described as his 'moobs', and the rippling of his arm fat, a sight only comparable to a sunrise reflecting off of a cottage lake. Santana was completely and utterly stunned by this immaculate site, and she knew more than anything that she had to have him, but if she wanted to succeed, she would have to be sneaky.

* * *

"I don't understand, Santana, how could this happen?" Dave Karofsky looked just about ready to explode, and while the Latina looked completely devastated on the outside, she was enjoying every bit of this trick as much as possible. After more than one sexual encounter with the boy, she knew just how dense he was, so she figured if this plan was going to work, she could exploit him like the useless toy he was.

"I told you, the sex we had was so hot that it melted the condom, and now you have my STD. I'm sorry, I know it sucks, but it's curable, really." Karofsky was now all ears, and anticipated the plan for his recovery. "It's simple, all you have to do is take a bath in a garlic at roughly three thirty today, and you'll be fine." He sighed in relief loudly, but then was interrupted by a more than cunning Santana. "But, the way this works is that it can pass really easily, like sharing a locker room with someone could give someone the same illness. So you need to tell your guys to take this garlic bath, or their junk is going to fall off." She figured death wouldn't mean as much as to someone as barbaric as him, so she thought she'd throw that in there, and it worked.

"Great, thanks for telling me, Santana, I'll go tell the guys. And if you see coach, tell him where we are, I'll even leave him a note or something." Santana politely said goodbye, not before smacking his firm rear end, and realizing just how badly she wanted that behind to belong to the middle aged coach. She pulled out her amazingly well organized plan sheet, and reviewed how everything was going. Getting the all of the guys to skip practice today had gone amazingly well, and as a bonus, they were going to tell Ken the exact same excuse she would use. All she had to do was grab a hold of this note, and she was all good.

* * *

Everything with Santana's master plan had been going great, until she found out the moronic jock had placed his note on the inside of Ken's office through the crack in the door, where she couldn't retrieve it. Her only hope was to find a way to get in there that would prove quick, efficient, and untraceable. It was then that she saw Ms. Pillsbury walk by, and she knew what she had to do.

"Hey, Ms. Pillsbury? Can you help me with something?" The tiny red head turned to face her with a look of alarm on her face. Emma, although a grown woman, was a little bit intimidated by Santana, who always walked around in a manner that was beyond sexual, and a little bit scary. Her apparent bisexuality made her a likely suspect for jumping her then and there, and while she wasn't homophobic in the slightest, it was more the chance the latina would give her any sort of bacteria scared her quite a bit. But it was her job to give guidance to the students, so out of obligation, she approached Santana.

"Yes, what do you need help with?" Santana hated talking to this woman. Not only did she make Brittany release her bird into the wild again, but she always seemed so stiff and uptight. Not to mention her habit of stealing away two of the most crust worthy teachers at the school, well, at least for her. But her strange obsessive compulsions would prove to help her get the plan in action again, so she had to do it.

"I was wondering if I could see the classroom master key, just to see the design." Ms. Pillsbury looked at the girl suspiciously, but figured it seemed pretty harmless, so gave her the key. Santana smiled gratefully, but then her smile turned into a small frown, and then a scowl, and then suddenly, her mouth was wide open and spilling the contents of her lunch all over Emma Pillsbury. It took everything she had to not smile at the talent she taught herself as a Cheerio to throw up on demand, because there was absolutely nothing that wasn't hilarious about the sight of the woman who had thrown off her high heels and run into the distance, crying hysterically. Just as she had hoped, in a fit of hysteria, she had forgotten she had left her key with Santana. Amateurs...

* * *

Santana was now walking into Lima's hospital through the backdoor, smiling to herself as she went over the adjusted note in her head. Now the note said something along the lines of the guys having gone to get decontamination showers at the hospital, and that Mr. Tanaka was at risk as well. Now, unless he was as stupid as he was unhygienic, it was a near certainty that he would be arriving any second now. Santana pulled out the lined paper that scrawled 'Out of Order' to put on all but one shower door, which meant that sooner rather than later, Ken would stumble into, unsuspectingly, a room where he would find Santana ready to seduce the man to the point where he would crumble into nothing. She undressed at the rate of someone who has slept with half of the school, and then proceeded to wrap a white skimpy towel around her chest that ended at her upper thigh, a technique one Nicolette Sheridan had taught her from her infamous commercial a few years back. This time, though, the tables would turn, and oppose to a middle aged woman being unrealistically stalked by a hot young man, two people, gorgeous in their own right, would meet in the shower steam and passionately make love like pheromone injected gorillas at the zoo. It would be magical, and then, he walked in, the sweat dripping down his brow making him look even more heart stopping.

"What, where are the guys, what's going on? Santana?" With the precision of a Glee club member, she promptly hit the play button of her stereo, and begin to play with the towel that was barely covering her body, but revealing her well toned legs, and sang.

"I wanna see your peacock, cock, cock

Your peacock, cock

Your peacock, cock, cock

Your peacock

I wanna see your peacock, cock, cock

Your peacock, cock

Your peacock, cock, cock

Your peacock."

The thumping 'Hey Mickey' like beat felt a little too 'hollaback girl' for her taste, but she knew that the theme would get his heart racing, and hopefully his pants dropping.

"Word on the street, you got somethin' to show me

Magical, colorful, Mr. Mystery

I'm intrigued, for a peek,

Heard it's fascinating

Words are mislead

Such a tease

Wanna see the show

In 3D, a movie

Heard it's beautiful

Be the judge

And my girls gonna take a bow"

Around the first half of the verse, she began to see a change in the stance of the sweaty man. Oppose to a look of pure confusion and uptight irritation, he now looked at her with unbridled want, and his stance now resembled a neanderthal who was going to steal a young woman from an opposing tribe.

"I want the jaw dropping, eye popping, head turning, body shocking

I want my heart throbbing, ground shaking, show stopping, amazing."

She used as many teasing moves as she could come up with, thrusting in a way that was nothing in comparison to Ken's 'Can't Be Tamed' moves, but definitely made him hot under the collar. Santana took short, seductive steps towards the man, until her arms were around his shoulders, and she almost lost all control and kissed him; instead, though, she sang into his ear while playing with stroking his thick arm fat.

"Are you brave enough to let me see your peacock?

Don't be a chicken boy, stop acting like a beeotch

I'ma peace out if you don't give me the pay off

Come on baby let me see

what you're hiding underneath.

Are you brave enough to let me see your peacock?

what you're waiting for, it's time for you to show it off

Don't be a shy kinda guy, I bet it's beautiful,

Come on baby let me see

What you're hiding underneath."

Ken suddenly reached for his shirt, and threw it over his head, leaving her to stare at his toned chest. Six packs were for wimps, Ken however, had a pure gut made of a good diet of high fat KFC and Pizza Hut. She wanted a real man, and she was about to get it.

"Skip the talk, heard it all, time to walk the walk

brake me off, if you bad, show me how's the boss

need some goose, if you lose, come on take a shot."

Santana almost wished she hadn't done this, that she had waited for a romantic candlelit dinner to give a heartfelt confession of her true emotions. She wanted to do it right, but then again, she just wanted to do it at all, so this would have to satisfy her for now.

"Are you brave enough to let me see your peacock?

Don't be a chicken boy, stop acting like a beeotch

I'ma peace out if you don't give me the pay off

Come on baby let me see

what you're hiding underneath."

Then, Ken's pants were down, and his far too tight white briefs didn't leave much to the imagination, but she knew that she wanted more, and he gave it. Then, in the middle of the shower, it was there, and she felt at home with the strongest, most masculine man she had ever known.

"Oh my god, no exaggeration,

Boy all this time spent was worth the waiting,

I just shed a tear, I'm so unprepared,

You've got the finest architecture

End of the rainbow looking treasure,

Such a sight to see

And it's all for me."

She felt herself being thrust into his arms, and they were passionately making out under the shower head, and Santana Lopez finally knew she had found her true love for the first time. She had told Finn after twenty or so times that he would feel satisfied, but everything before now paled in comparison to how she felt with his rolled fat surronding her wet skin.

"Oh my god!" Emma Pillsbury had come to the hospital to get Santana's washed off, and now, she found herself looking at her ex-fiancee and sixteen year old student on the floor of the hospital decontamination shower. Santana laughed to herself as she watched Emma run for her life for the second time today, and so did Ken, the vibrations of his laughing stomach making her feel at peace. After it was all done, Santana looked into Ken's eyes, and saw that behind all of that undeniable beauty, there was a real man. She couldn't help but think that she herself may not be worthy of someone so magnificent, but now he was speaking, and she couldn't wait for the words this amazing man would say.

"That was great, Santana, but I don't think we should do this again. I'm a little out of your league." Damn it.

* * *

Yep, the end of our incredibly awkward story. I hope you liked it, it was pretty darn funny to write, I love the Teenage Dream record, well, the ones that have leaked so far, and I had to use this. I can't say for sure what the next coupling is, but it'll be just as strange. Until next time!


	2. Who Loves You, Pecky, Part One

The newest story, hooray! This is **Pucky, **which would be **Noah Puckerman and Becky Johnson. **This story will have absolutely no sexiness, and I hope will be endearing enough. Really only Kentana was steamy. Enjoy!

* * *

Puck was on his way to his weekly fight club, and he was more than ready to take his anger out on other people. Ever since he had gotten Quinn pregnant, she had been constantly nagging him about every little thing, and Puck figured it was just pregnancy hormones. Besides, this was his fault, it was the least he could do. But now, Beth was in Shelby's hands, and Quinn was still acting the same way towards him. Puck had tried to prove that he was a good guy, and no matter what he did, Quinn still treated him like the idiot guy that got her pregnant. He wasn't that guy anymore, and he had done just about anything to show how he has grown up, but it was as if people would never get over it. Puck was racing through the parking lot, angrily stomping on the pavement, when he stumbled into a small girl, who's books went flying into the ground as a result of the collision.

"Oh, god, I'm so sorry, here let me help you with that." As much as he wanted to revert to his bad boy persona to spite everyone who thought he was that way, something changed in him through the last year, with Glee club and Beth, that made him mature. So, he apologetically smiled at the girl, and helped her gather her books, when he noticed that he had seen the girl around before with Brittany. She was a Cheerio, Becky Johnson, and he had heard she was a nice girl, but happened to have Downs Syndrome, so jock types weren't exactly known for hanging out with her. Becky innocently smiled back at him, happy to get his help with her books.

"Oh, no problem, thanks!" Puck laughed a little, and Becky looked quite confused. Oppose to what some people might think, Puck wasn't laughing at the girl at all, in fact, he couldn't help but laugh at how cutely she had thanked him for knocking all of her books right out of her hands and then retrieving them. Quinn probably would have been screaming at him by now about how careless and inconsiderate he is, that he doesn't care about anyone but himself, that he needs to grow up and start being a man. Becky, though, just appreciated that Puck had stayed to help her at all, which was something she wasn't used to. Puck reached out for her history book at the same time that she did, and their hands met in the centre of the cold textbook, her warm hands giving him a similar feeling of warmth in his chest. Becky was still smiling at him, and he returned the smiling just as happily, amazed that this girl was such a happy individual.

"So, what are you up to, Becky?" The Cheerio laughed as the jock tried his best to come up with a casual conversation to have with the girl.

"Finished Cheerio practice. I didn't know you knew my name, Noah!" Puck couldn't believe that this girl would be starstruck in his presence, but all the signs were suggesting that she was. Clearly she didn't know about the new Puck, because while he would have loved to be iconized by Cheerios in the past, he was definitely done with notoriety for a long time.

"Well, I didn't think you knew my name either!" Becky laughed as Puck flirted playfully with the girl, but she just thought he was doing it out of curtesy, to make her feel like a 'normal' girl. But in reality, Puck couldn't help but feel a little flustered around Becky. "Anyway, um, I'll see you later, OK?" Becky nodded happily and went her merry way towards the parking lot, and Puck wondered what was going on with him lately. Falling for other girls? There was only one person in the world he could trust with this, and there was no doubt he would need his help.

* * *

"So, Puck, what is this big emergency about?" Finn was lying on his bed, tossing a basketball into the air, a little bit skeptical about why Puck should be so concerned. Puck had immediately called his best friend and then driven to his house, wanting to talk about his girl troubles, but a little wrench was thrown in the machine of his plan.

"Yeah, you look like I did when they announced the Giorgio Armani boutique north of here was being replaced by a Pizza Hut." Kurt Hummel, of course, was in the room as well, which was to be expected, as it was his house, but considering he never got along with Puck, it was going to be more than awkward. Kurt was kind of sick of Puck's almost weekly freakouts, rushing to the house with a new panic over some new issue that he immediately needed help with. As if they didn't have enough to do already, planning Burt and Carole's wedding, but now he had to deal with the dating troubles of Lima's biggest manwhore? Lately, though, his problems had changed from how he should convince the entire girl's volleyball team to sleep with him into what he should get Quinn for Valentine's Day. As much as it pained Kurt to say it, Puck was growing up, well, minus his neediness when it came to venting to his best friend.

"OK, well, I went to the school earlier after fighting with Quinn over something stupid, and I kind of ran into someone, a girl, and-"

"Who?" Kurt and Finn both said simultaneously, their curiosity getting the better of them. Meeting people? They didn't even think Puck did that, they thought these girls just arrived at his door step, ready to be shamelessly objectified, just like the ones before them. They weren't going to bother pretending that Puck would talk about a girl, let alone meet one, if he wasn't interested in getting in their pants, so the question was really more 'who' as oppose to 'why'.

"Becky Johnson." Silence. Then, Finn's chest began to rise and fall at an alarmingly fast pace, and a soft wheezing could be heard, then suddenly, roaring laughter, from both Kurt and Finn. Puck was now starting to get frustrated at the pair; when was he replaced by Kurt in Finn's life? And was he such a bad person that it was impossible he would like a handicapped young girl, who happened to be quite charming, and a Cheerio. And let's face it, she was just as functional as the rest of the Cheerio squad, probably more so than a lot of them, just look at Brittany. "What, what's so funny?" Kurt finally managed to stop laughing, but Finn just kept bellowing his moronic laugh, over and over again.

"You and Becky, Becky Johnson? Really, I mean-" Then the laughter, just as cold and cutting as before. Was he really that bad before? Surely people thought he had started to change, so why was this so hard to believe? Finn was still shaking the entire basement room with his raucous laughter, and Puck finally had it.

"Oh, shut up you goon! And I like Becky, she's nice and she's sweet, so what is wrong with that?" Finn's laughter promptly stopped, and he got up from his former position to face Puck, which meant he meant it was time for the lowdown.

"She is nice, and she is sweet. You? I mean, you may like her, but I'm just not so sure how much she might like you." Finn was surprisingly insightful, but still not enough so to see the progress that Puck was making, well, he thought he was making. But was there really enough he could do to make up for everything he had done in the past?

"Exactly, Finn, I couldn't have said it better myself." It was Puck's turn to be annoyed, because now he just had to wonder if there was really anyone he could talk to now. "But, I don't know if you've noticed, but I think he's started to be a little bit- well, nicer, actually. So, I wouldn't say there's no chance in hell of you and Becky happening, just that you need to show her this new side of you." Puck never thought he would see the day where Kurt Hummel became the person he would go to for advice on girls over Finn, but now, he definitely knew that his dense best friend wasn't going to do him much good.

"Yeah, I didn't notice that, but now that I think of it, I don't think he's actually cheated on Quinn in almost four months!" Puck couldn't help but laugh that the person they were talking about sounded so strange and foreign to him. Now, he knew he couldn't cheat on his girlfriend, but that if he wanted to be with Becky he would have to end with things with Quinn first. But he needed to know if Becky was interested first...

"So, guys, how do you think I should find out if she likes me too?" Finn smiled mischievously, and crouched to be at level with his bed, then pulled out a wooden box from underneath his bed. Oh no. "Finn, we are not using your stupid decision making box!" Kurt looked at him with a look of absolute disdain, and Puck couldn't help but laugh, wondering how these opposites had learned to get along so well.

"Come on, remember when the tea leaves got me to be Quinn's science lab partner, and then-"

"Puck got her pregnant? how about we just use the normal methods of decision making, like with our brains?" Kurt wondered why he had ever had a crush on this oversized boy. Then again, Finn's careless belief in the occult was an easy way to get him to stroke Kurt's palm on several occasions, so he wasn't complaining. "Look, I don't know if you have noticed or not, but many people at McKinley have gotten adjusted to treating me like a girl oppose to a boy-" Finn and Puck snickered loudly, and the fashionable soprano immediately shot them ice cold glares. "Becky is likely to share with a fellow female Cheerio. So, I'll just go onto Skype and see if she's there to talk to, and if so, let's see if I can get her talking." Puck was liking this idea, seeing as he didn't really know any of Becky's friends very well, and it wasn't like he could trust Brittany with not screwing this up. With that incredibly annoying log-in sound, Puck looked over to see that Finn and Kurt were already starting an IM with Becky Johnson, who just so happened to be online. Finn and Kurt were both fighting for control of the keyboard, but Kurt eventually one, starting the conversation with his expertise.

Kurt: hey becky, what's up?

"What's up? Don't you think that's a little vague?" Kurt looked over to Finn like he was the dumbest person on the planet.

"No, Finn, because if I just ask her 'Hey, do you like Puck?' then don't you think she would be a little suspicious?" Finn then kept his mouth firmly shut, until he let out a little squeal of excitement and anticipation as he saw she had responded.

Becky: nothing much. hey, what do u know bout noah puckerman

The three boys all shared a glance after reading the message, shocked. Sure, Puck was sure there was something, but Kurt just couldn't believe it himself. He turned when he heard the sound of typing, and saw that Finn was writing away.

Kurt: he likes u a lot and wants 2 go out w/ u,dfdsjo-0i03jncdsnfldsnfsdnanjkd

"Are you crazy, Finn? We can't just tell her yet, then she'll know that we were all talking about this and probably arranged this little incident. Which could also mean that Puck doesn't like her, I know from experience that jocks have a habit of pulling mean practical jokes." Finn looked at his feet guiltily, but Puck had come terms with his formerly cruel past, and just gave a small smirk to the boy at the desk.

Kurt: funny u ask. puck and a bunch of people from glee are all going 4 bowling and pizza tomorrow at 6, and if u want, u could come along.

"We're going bowling?" Finn thought aloud, and Kurt just smiled at the dense boy, although Puck felt like strangling his moronic friend.

Becky: yes, definitely! see u then?

Kurt: totally, bye love!

"And that's how you do it." Puck could not believe he had taken this long to get Kurt's help in getting girls. That was it? One Skype conversation and he had a date? This was the perfect opportunity to prove to Becky that he was the sweet guy he thought he had turned into!

"You did awesome, Kurt." Finn was beaming at his soon to be stepbrother, and Kurt looked just as pleased. Puck, though, let a laugh escape his lips, and the two boys turned to him, wondering what was so funny.

"Fine, promise not to get mad?" The two boys reluctantly nodded their heads, and Puck continued. "You two totally act like a couple, it's crazy." Finn, who had been leaning on Kurt's arm rest, cleared his throat loudly, and threw himself onto his feet. Kurt blushed a dark red, and rolled the computer chair as far to the right as possible. Puck watched as Kurt and Finn got all disturbed at his observation, and got a little bit of a kick out of it. He just hoped this would be the last kick he would be getting from people's discomfort and pain, or he didn't have a hope.

* * *

The next chapter won't be of this story, it will probably be a one-shot of a brand new couple, so look forward to that! This story is super bi-polar in terms of orders, but for those who want a taste of everything, I guess that's good. Review, please, please, please, I really appreciate any feedback, positive or negative. Until next time!


	3. Not Like The Movies, Warole

So, here is the new leg, where **Will and Carole **have a little bit of romance. Just wait and see; make sure to review if you like it. Enjoy!

* * *

Parent teacher night. William Schuester came to expect the worst of these nights that he was once so hopeful about. You see, a William McKinley High School parent/teacher conference used to be almost like an event, where parents were respectful and cherished every compliment a teacher gave, and even took all of the constructive criticism to heart and made sure to tell their kids. Then the new generation came, and suddenly, parents became vulture like, showing up to these things to try and snag a teacher and ask there opinion on what felt like ever topic in the world. What is going to be on the end of year exam, is there any extra credit, what do you know about going to medical school, questions left right and centre all coming from parents who clearly cared a little too much about there kids. Their kids, however, couldn't have cared less, so the parents chose to take there jobs far too seriously and drill Mr. Schuester every single parent teacher conference. Looking into the room warily, he could see that the majority of the parents were swarming every teacher in sight, apart from Sue, who managed to keep a tight grip on the parents. Those who didn't have a vice grip on a teacher were talking casually with the other parents at the snack table, and from here, he could even see Kurt and his dad were chatting about organic foods, which from the looks of it, Burt Hummel did not seem to be too interested in.

"People, people, for those of you who have no taste, Mr. Schuester and his head full of waxed and permed hair has arrived to assault your eyes and ears with his horrible show tunes!" Will immediately cringed at the sound of Sue's bullhorn starting up, but she seemed to enjoy every second of telling the swarming parents of his arrival. After swatting away parents who felt they deserved to talk to him before he was even seated, he got to his chair, and reluctantly smiled up at the first parent who was ready to talk to him. Surprisingly enough, she didn't seem at all intense, and was just wearing an acid washed denim vest paired with some slightly unflattering jeans, but the smile she wore was anything but unflattering. The woman seemed quite warm, and Will was instantly relieved to start the evening on a good note, just not so much that the parents would be quick to throw her out of the chair the second their 5 minute allotted time ended.

"Hello, I'm Will Schuester, and you are..." As much as he knew his students, apart from those who spent their time screaming at him or attached at their kid's hip, he couldn't really tell the parents apart. He had never felt too badly about it, until now, though, as he couldn't see why he wouldn't remember this woman.

"Oh, sorry, I'm Carole Hudson, my son Finn is in Spanish and Glee club with you." Will definitely could see the resemblance. Both of them had kind faces and clumsy posture, but both had an instant like ability.

"Yes, and Finn is a real joy to have in Glee club. He has a fantastic voice, and his dancing has really improved since we've started." Will didn't dare touch up on the fact that for Finn's dancing to improve, he'd simply have to just learn how to do one step, as he was the least co-ordinated jock he had ever met.

"Aw, that's great to hear. You must sing too, then, as Glee coach." Will nodded his head modestly, and Carole smiled back at him. "Well, I'm just going to have to hear you sing something then!" Will stared back at her a little bit aghast. He had been used to strange requests before, but never something of this nature. Impromptu performing? But the look of admiration in Carole's eyes was something that he just couldn't say no to, so-

"Right now?" Carole nodded in excitement, resembling a cross between her son and a puppy dog. Will figured that his audition piece for Les Miserables had been Dream On by Aerosmith, so it was safe enough to 'audition' with the same piece here. As he opened his mouth to begin, he was cut off by a screeching bullhorn, and he instantly found his head in his arms.

"Parents of the young delinquents, what we have here tonight is what I call an exercise in dark humor. Will Schuester would like to sing something for you on this here sound magnification gizmo, come on up here, don't be shy!" Will Schuester officially hated Sue Sylester with every inch in his body. Singing in front of parents? Some of them would have no problem with hearing one off key note and getting the program cancelled by tomorrow noon. He was standing next to Sue, and he turned away the megaphone, and whispered into her ear.

"Please, Sue, what do you want from me?" Sue ripped the megaphone from his hands, with a look of victory in her eyes.

"You heard the man, Brad, Whataya Want From Me, hit it! Good luck, Will, remember, if you screech like the young puppies you and your group of misfits likely save from shelters, you can always work at an all day breakfast joint, greasing the food to a point that the already obese customers can no longer move, and you can subject them to the same horrific singing that got you fired in the first place." Sue tossed the megaphone into Will's hand, and as he heard the opening chords ring out, the parents looking like sharks ready to kill, he turned to Carole Hudson, who looked totally optimistic, and just focused on her.

"Go Mr. Schue!" Kurt cried out from the audience, causing laughter to ensue from skeptical parents, who probably thought the boy was being sarcastic. Burt still looked bitter from the Diva Off incident, so he thought he may just stare with into Carole's safe eyes for the performance.

"Hey, slow it down whataya want from me?

Whataya want from me?

Yeah I'm afraid whataya want from me?

Whataya want from me?

There might have been a time

When I would give myself away,

Oooh once upon a time I didn't give a damn

But now, here we are, so whataya want from me?

Whataya want from me?

Just don't give up I'm working it out

Please don't give in, I won't let you down

It messed me up, need a second to breathe

Just keep coming around

Hey, whataya want from me?

Whataya want from me?

Whataya want from me?"

Will surprised himself at how he managed to hit every soaring note that Adam hit in the original, seeing how their ranges couldn't be any more different, and the audience most certainly appreciated it. He was shocked at the applause he received from parents in a homophobic town after he sang a song by an openly gay man, but he just basked in it, and looked back at Carole. She looked totally starstruck at Will's performance, clapping manically and laughing sweetly. Will obviously knew there was a tiny bit of an age difference, but he couldn't help but feel something with Carole he hadn't felt in a long time. Terri had spent so long manipulating him, treating him like he was stupid, lying to him, but Carole was just so open, and sweet, and real. Being with her was like a breath of fresh air after a marriage of suffocating. And Emma, as kind as she was, it seemed like nothing he could do would ever please her. Will had baggage, and so did Emma, but for some reason, he could handle hers, but she couldn't handle his. When Will sat back down, he looked at Carole's smiling face, combined with her still clapping hands, and smiled to himself.

* * *

"Hey Mr. Schue!" Will had just finished up with his last parent of the day, and was on his way to his car when a voice rang out and made him jump in surprise. As it turned out, it was Carole, who was smiling through the dark, laughing at his reaction. It was funny how much she was like Finn, in fact, the way she yelled out his name had the same naivety and hope that Finn often did. He couldn't help but think of how he felt like a father figure to Finn, and what that could mean for him and Carole, well, if there was a him and Carole.

"Sorry, I didn't see you. Oh, and please, call me Will. So, that was quite the night, wasn't it?" Carole nodded, laughing to herself as she recalled his spontaneous performance, but Will just laughed at how openly she did such a thing. He couldn't remember the last time Terri had laughed, let alone smiled, and it hadn't been all a lie. Carole's face suddenly contorted into shock, and Will turned to look at where her eyes had been so alarmed, and saw his car tires had been slashed.

"Oh my god, Will, I am so sorry, I can't believe someone would do this." Will definitely could. This was Lima, Ohio, and while some of these cowardly parents couldn't do it to his face, he figured there would be some consequences for performing a piece like that. "You know what, here, I'll drive you to my place, you can drink a coffee, have something to eat, I'll call up the local mechanic to get it fixed, then you can go back to your house, have Finn drive you in the morning. What do you think?" The way Carole openly smiled at him was so refreshingly transparent, and Will figured she was hardly going to take him in her car and kill him, so why not? Besides, Finn was practically his prized student, he was almost surprised he had known him so long and never been to his house, especially after the whole pregnancy scare.

"Thank you so much, Carole, thank you! You don't mind or anything?" Carole shook her head forcefully, and lead him by the hand to her car. Will still couldn't tell if she was at all interested in him the way he was interested in her, but he couldn't but enjoy the benefits of his tires getting slashed.

* * *

"Finn, honey, I'm home!" Finn raced down the stairs in a pair of messy short and a t-shirt, a sight that was quite hilarious, as the boy who was normally concerned about image was now bolting to see his mom, probably because growing up with only her made them quite close. As soon as Finn saw Mr. Schuester, however, he immediately jumped up, then blinked at the man several times, wondering if the spanish teacher was actually here in his house.

"Mom, what's Mr. Schue doing here?" Will started to feel a little uncomfortable being in there house. He had no business being here, he didn't know anything about them, and Finn may not be OK with Carole bringing a guy home, let alone his teacher and mentor. But Finn didn't look at all mad, just confused and tired from a long day at school and dealing with Rachel dating Jesse St. James.

"Will's car is having a little bit of an issue, so I offered our place to stay for a bit until he's ready to be dropped home, you can pick him up in the morning and bring him to school." Will found it hard to wrap his head around the idea that Finn was supposed to be his caretaker, considering it was supposed to be the other way around, but Finn actually looked pretty pleased at this news.

"Totally, that sounds awesome!" Will laughed at the boy's excitement, but also a little at his less than stellar vocabulary. He was glad at this moment that his english teacher hadn't been the one with their tires slashed, because it wasn't likely Carole was going to do him favors any time soon. "So, have you ever played Call of Duty?" Will couldn't believe that one of his students was now leading him into their bedroom, let alone to play a video game with him, but now here he was, being handed an XBOX controller, and hearing the roaring of the game music on the television set.

"So, Finn, thanks for letting me hang out here like this, I'm sorry I have to barge in on you like this." Will was starting to just feel sorry in general, because the boy was beaming at him like his own father had risen from the dead and bonded with him over a video game. This was several levels of inappropriate, but there was no way he could just leave now; besides, he couldn't get home, and he wouldn't put it past the pair to kill him with kindness as a punishment for attempted escape.

"Are you kidding, Mr. Schue, this is going to be wicked! We can hang out and stuff, see what kind of things I do outside of school, it'll be fun." Will wanted to say something, but could only force out a small nod in comprehension. How would he tell this boy who so desperately wanted a father that he couldn't be that for him, because- well, he wasn't sure exactly why, but their relationship wouldn't be appropriate. Finn's smile, Carole's smile really, was still beaming at him, so he just decided to take it, and play Finn's game. They began playing, and Will was shocked how engaged the normally dazed boy was while playing this game, using intensive strategy and such to try and win. In fact, when talking in terms of this video game, he was more understandable than in every day life, something that made Will think about his methods of teaching the boy. But those thoughts withered away as he realized how much fun he was having with Finn, and the two boys kept on playing, until Carole came up to the room to drive Will home.

"That was great, Finn, thanks for letting me play your game." Will couldn't help but wonder if any of Carole's boyfriends had ever done anything like that with him. He also couldn't help but feel like a father when he looked at Finn, because the bond they shared was definitely more than just Glee club.

"Any time! Thanks for coming over, Mr. Schue!" Will laughed as Carole and him walked out the door, smiling. Before they knew it, Will and Carole were at the tiny apartment that he now called home, awkwardly standing at his doorstep. He had a ping of regret that he hadn't spent more of the evening with the woman, oppose to her son, because now, whatever happened here would make up what would happen next.

"Any way, thanks for everything, have a good-" Will never got to finish that sentence as his lips were caught by Carole's, which had been pressed passionately onto his. Will kissed the woman gently, holding her close to his body, and when it was over, they look into each others eyes and smiled. It was going to be harder to not be a father for Finn than he thought.

* * *

Anyways, that's it! I hope you liked it! Until next time!


	4. Not Like The Movies, Part Two

Here is the new chapter. Enjoy!

* * *

"Hey Mr. Schue!" Will couldn't help but cringe a little as he so the oversized goof ball, Finn, rush down the hall to greet him. While he enjoyed spending time with the Hudsons last night, he wasn't sure if he should make a habit out of it. Finn was starting to get a little clingy, and after Terri's crazy, he wasn't sure if he could handle Finn going nuts too.

"Hey, Finn." Will tried to beeline for the teacher's lounge, but the big loaf stood directly in front of him, his broad shoulders blocking any and all chance for escape. "So..."

"Wanna come over and play COD tonight?" Mr. Schuester couldn't believe what he was hearing. This was beyond inappropriate, a student was asking him over to his house? After Hank and Mr. Ryerson's little gropefest of a love affair, Will was not ready to be getting personal with any male students, especially because Sue would be more than OK with throwing him in the slammer for child molestation. He shuddered at the thought of the woman, but then turned to see that Finn still hadn't left, and was waiting for an answer, his expression dying with every millisecond that passed.

"Sure." What was he saying? Going over to a student's place? Was he insane? It was OK when it was to meet up with Carole, which was a totally different story, but this was just creepy. Finn's transparent face blew up with positive expression, an array of bold fireworks, blinding nearly all in the hallway. Oh yeah, Sue was going to catch on quick.

"Can't wait, 6:00, my mom's making dinner!" Well, he did look forward to seeing Carole again. He didn't know what it was about her that made Will feel like a new person, but he did know he hadn't felt like this in a long time, so maybe it was best if he just put up with Finn's... Finnishness. Besides, it wasn't that bad, it's not like he hadn't dealt with Suzie Pepper or Rachel Berry before.

* * *

"Mr. Schue?" Of course. Even without Finn's adorkable face staring up at him like a starving puppy, Will would have known it was that night's date calling out for him. Mr. Schuester couldn't help but cringe at the thought of what students were going to think of him now.

"Yes Finn?"

"How do you say 'Mr. Schuester is a really cool guy'?" Now the fireworks were coming from all around the class, faces lighting up with nearly every expression imaginable. Karofsky and Azimio began to laugh cruel and bitter laughter, along with a large percentage of the class. Rachel Berry sighed into her hands at her ex-boyfriend's clear stupidity, knowing first hand what happens when male students and male teachers get too close. Kurt Hummel, seated next to Finn, gave Mr. Schuester a look of pure envy, his green eyes burning holes right through him.

"Jacob, no cellphones!" As much as Will would want to say his discipline was out of being a great teacher, the gossip mongrel was furiously typing on his cell phone, no doubt to his numerous sources about what they knew about Finn dating Will. Brittany was staring at the drawing of a unicorn that Santana had made for her, while the Latina just stared in anticipation at Will. Will didn't want to crush the kid, but there was no way he could let all of these crazy kids out of the class thinking there was anything going on. One homophobic parent later, Will would be joining the unemployment line, and that's not considering post Sue Sylvester.

"Finn, finish your assignment, and there are dictionaries at the back of the class if you would just get up and use them for once. You don't have to ask me for everything, you know, especially not juvenile things like that." Ouch, that was way harsher than he had hoped. Finn's entire demeanor fell immediately after that, and all the class jocks laughed cruelly at Finn. Kurt tried to reach over to pat Finn's back and encourage him, but a sharp glare from Rachel encouraged him to mind his own business. When Will was seated again, he saw pure agony in Finn's eyes. God, what was he thinking? Poor kid, he just wanted someone to be a father for him. He knew what he wanted to do, and even though it was crazy, the kind that could get him fired, he had to do it. So, like the crazy kids in class with him, he scrawled a message on a sheet of paper, crumpled it up, and kicked it right underneath Finn's feet. Finn, reluctantly, more so out of not wanting Kurt to read it, pulled it from under his desk to read 'meet me after class in the choir room'. Finn beamed up at Will again, a sure reminder to the older of the guys what a mistake he was making by getting involved with Carole.

* * *

"Hey, Mr. Schue, so, what did you want to talk about?" To be honest, Will wasn't sure. He initially sent the message so he could apologize to Finn later, but it seemed the boy was so desperate for a father figure that he had given up on being mad already. What was he supposed to say now that wouldn't screw himself over; too mean, and Finn will hate him again. Too nice, and Finn would get further infatuated with him. No, not in a romantic way, Finn was just like a little puppy dog, and right now, Will was his target.

"I just wanted to ask how things with Rachel are going," Will watched Finn's face move in strange patterns, and he tried to come up with a reason as fast as possible. "Because we don't need anymore drama in Glee Club. You know, Quinn and Puck, Rachel and Jesse, I just want to be here for you to talk to so in case something happens, you know I'm here for you." And then Will realized he had definitely stepped in it. I'm here for you? Everything he said reeked of potential new daddy potential, and he most certainly wasn't ready to father this kid. Finn, predictably, lit up like a Christmas tree, and Will realized that cute at first, his excitement was starting to get annoyingly predictable.

"Well, I think she's still dating Jesse, but what can you do, right? But isn't this great, hangings out and stuff, buddies?" Mr. Schuester nodded hesitantly, something that went unnoticed by Finn. "I mean, with Puck being Puck, and Kurt being Kurt, it's like your my best friend right now!" Will knew that those brown eyes of his had to be crushed, but as his 'best friend', he wasn't ready to do that just yet.

"Yeah, totally, it's great."

"Yeah, but, dude, if you are having any problems or something, you can totally talk to me about it. How's Ms. Pillsbury?" In all of his years of teaching lovesick teenagers, William Schuester had never once encountered a question so deeply personal and inappropriate. Finn, unless he was immune to gossip, had obviously heard they had broken up, so this question was clearly only being asked out of some weird jealousy. Did he think Will was interested in his mother?

"We aren't seeing each other any more, Finn, and while I can be here to listen to you, I'm not sure how much I should share with you about my life, you know, as a teacher." Finn coyly winked like a small child who just got in on an inside joke, making Will want to slap the boy silly and forget about Carole.

"Oh, I got it, teacher stuff. Thanks for everything, Mr. Schue, remember, 6:00!" Mr. Schuester nodded with as much enthusiasm as he could muster as the boy raced out of the room.

* * *

"So, Kurt, I like your... hat." Kurt turned around in the lunch line with a cold glare that burned right through Finn. What had Finn done to deserve this? People had been looking at him weirdly all of today, which was strange, seeing as most people knew that Drizzle was Puck's at this point. Kurt grabbed Finn by the arm, and roughly pulled him into the corner of a distant hallway, much to the amusement of other students. "Uh, Kurt, what's going-"

"I like you, Finn." What? Kurt liked him? Well, he wasn't totally shocked, I mean, he had been really close with him lately, and always said all these crazy things about girls. But Finn had kind of hoped it would fade away eventually, and it would never be brought up. But maybe Finn misinterpreted what he said- "As in _like like _you." Oh, well that cleared things up. "I wouldn't have told you, but now that I know we have a chance, I have to let you know how I feel about you."

"Wait, what are you talking about, why do we have a chance?" Finn was awfully confused at this point, even more so than he was by most things in his life. He and Kurt definitely did not have a chance, I mean, they were friends, but he wasn't interested in dudes like that... at all.

"You and Mr. Schuester. Look, Finn, I get it, he's cute and all, but I'm your age, and I've been here for you, so-"

"What, no, Mr. Schue and I aren't together, what made you think that?" Kurt now looked horribly embarrassed, and the normally brash boy didn't look like he had much to say.

"Sorry, it's just, it looked that way earlier today in Spanish with the flirting and the note..." Flirting? Note? OK, now Finn was insanely confused. When was he flirting with Mr. Schue, they were practically brothers, that would be insanely weird. "But if you're still interested..." Finn shot Kurt a slightly disturbed look as Kurt began to make a move on him. Kurt took this as a no, and walked off in the opposite direction, his only friend bitterness. Finn shrugged to himself, wondering why Kurt would be so crazy to even think that. But then, as he walked into the cafeteria, he realized it wasn't just Kurt. Entire tables of students were staring right at Finn, some laughing and joking, some looking insanely serious, probably talking about the legality of their relationship. Finn felt something smack against his head when he saw a folded up picture of his favorite Spanish teacher had been tossed at him. Finn knew he hadn't been popular lately, and he meant popular at all, but he couldn't believe this was happening. He almost never cried, but right now, he felt like he could drown in his own tears at the thought his own peers thought he was sleeping with his teacher.

"Hey, Hudson, how do you say 'Take your pants off' in Spanish? I bet Schuester taught you." One Azimio's mindless drones tossed the insult right at Finn, and while they normally just were annoying, this stung. The one thing Finn had was credibility, a reputation for being a nice guy, but now people thought all kinds of things that weren't true. There wasn't a soul in the cafeteria that wasn't talking or looking right at him. Finn just couldn't believe that one friendship could lead to this.

* * *

"Hey, Emma, I wanted to talk to you about something." Will tried to keep a distance from Emma Pillsbury after their decision to not spend so much time together, which was fine, but after a while, he knew he needed her guidance. They could still be good friends, and this time around, he made it clear from the start he didn't want anything more than that. Emma smiled sweetly at Will, sipping her coffee from the immaculately cleaned mug that sat perched on her sparkling desk.

"Does it have anything to do with Finn?" Will's face contorted in surprise that Emma knew, and he immediately realized that the Spanish class earlier had probably gotten around at lightning speed to the school population. "Look, just tell me everything, I'm sure it'll be fine." Will heard a couple of students from outside the room jeer something about if Finn ever wears his uniform to the bedroom. Emma watched as all that was left of his happiness faded from his face, and he realized that his reputation was ruined. Sure Emma was a good friend, but Will knew perfectly well that this kind of trouble didn't go away by talking to your best friend. If only his 'other best friend' realized it went away by not talking to him.

* * *

"Hey, Carole." This was awkward. This was more than awkward. Based on the look on Carole Hudson's face, Finn hadn't told her that he was coming over tonight, so the woman currently thought she was being swept off of her feet.

"Oh, Will, you're in luck, I made chicken casserole, it is delicious, we have enough for you, would you like to join us? Finn's just upstairs." Will nodded solemnly, and Carole reacted much more enthusiastically than one would wish. Emma thought that Will should come over to the Hudson house and try to explain to Finn that they couldn't talk at school like that anymore, that it was inappropriate, and Will definitely agreed. Well, he knew it was the right thing to do, it was more the fact it was easier said than done to crush the hopes and dreams of Finn. "So, I just wanted to say thank you for playing with my son last night, things have been pretty hard lately, and he could definitely use a guy in his life. If you haven't noticed, I'm good with the mom things, but some of the other stuff could use some work." Carole was just about as articulate as her son, but equally charming, so Will couldn't help but smile as she offered her thanks. It wasn't the originally plan, but Will figured it couldn't hurt to let her in on what had been going on at school lately.

"Listen, about that, I actually wanted to talk to Finn about that." Carole looked awfully puzzled, so Will proceeded with a great amount of caution. "It's just, Finn has been a little bit closer to me at school, so students and teachers talk, and are saying-"

"You two are a couple, got it." Carole didn't look a bit puzzled now, and Will sighed in relief. It was good that she didn't get on the defensive or shoot the messenger, instead, just get straight to the point.

"Yeah, and he's a good kid, but he's being really clingy. Probably with all the problems with Quinn and Rachel the last while, he's been more than a little clingy. I think he just wants a father figure, but let's face it, he's a little naive, so he doesn't realize it's not appropriate for him to be calling us 'best friends' or talking about how cool I guy I am. He's a good kid, really, but I don't really think it is appropriate to be friends with him." Carole nodded sweetly, and Will was beyond happy he found someone he could share this all with so openly. Terri probably would have gotten her hatchet ready the second a potential lover came along, and while Emma was insightful, she never like getting her hands dirty, literally and figuratively, with his problems. "He is really lonely, though, so I don't know how to tell him that I don't think we should hang out any more." A loud cough was heard from the stairs. Crap.

"Don't worry, Mr. Schuester, I think you found out how to tell me just how much of a desperate loser I am." Will wanted to punch himself in the face at this point. How could he let this happen? He sent the note, he invited him to the choir room, but more importantly, nothing sexual had actually occurred between them. One little crush, and suddenly they were in a riveting sex scandal. Finn's tears streamed down his face, and Will could feel his heart breaking as he saw his temporary son storm back into his room, not before letting his audible sobs make Will consider suicide. Turning, he saw Carole wasn't nearly as upset as he was, probably because she was used to his teenage angst. Still, though, Will knew he had done wrong, and couldn't feel any worse about it.

"Listen, you should probably go home, but I kind of like you, so maybe... Breadsticks, 7:00 tomorrow night?" It was what Will wanted, a date with Carole, and now, here she was, asking after he crushed the heart and soul of her only son. He really wanted to say yes to her, to jump into her arms and tell her how much he cared, but he knew he only cared about one thing right now. Fixing things with Finn.

"Look, Carole, I'm flattered, and I like you quite a bit too, but with Finn right now, I just want to get things sorted out before I-"

"Of course." Will was a little taken back at the first signs of bitterness in her voice. A woman of experience, she probably thought this was Will's way of letting her down easy. He didn't want her to think that, but considering how crazy she was looking right now, Will left the house without another word. He just had to make sure he had some when it came to seeing Finn tomorrow.

* * *

Poor Finn! Hopefully things will be looking up next chapter, but you'll have to wait and see! Reviews are incredibly highly appreciated... pretty please with a cherry on top? Until next time!


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